Life's a Mill (And I've Been Through it)
by FicAddy
Summary: Kara & Lena one shots, inspired by lyrics of country songs. (Edited title comes from Dolly's Smoky Mountain Memories). Rating went up as of chapter 3.
1. Last Night Last

Can last night last  
Or was it just too much red wine  
Or one too many lonely nights  
Can last night last  
Could this be the start of us  
Every morning waking up  
To your sleepy eyes smiling back  
Or is it just too soon to ask  
Can last night last

~Lady Antebellum~

Kara's never been more grateful for a slow morning as she is today. With Snapper on one of CatCo's vague mandatory retreats, she's been granted permission to work from home today. Under normal circumstances this fact alone would've made her day, but her circumstances right now are definitely not normal. And everywhere she looks she's reminded of those not-so-normal circumstances.

There's the lipstick stain on the second coffee cup sitting on the breakfast bar, next to the one she herself used this morning.

Without looking she knows there's an extra plate in the sink. Two knives. Two forks.

Her robe hangs from the back of the couch, left behind with a lingering scent not purely her own.

Though no everyday occurrences, they've certainly happened before but this morning everything feels different. It probably _feels_ different because everything _is_ different.

Before last night, the lips having left behind their blood red impression on that coffee cup had never touched her own.

Before last night, the always animated hands wielding that cutlery this morning had never touched such intimate parts of her body.

And before last night, that robe had never smelt of another's perfume. It had never protected another's modesty than her own.

Last night everything she thought she knew about her friendship with Lena had changed with a cliche meeting of their eyes, suddenly so much more intense and meaningful than ever before.

Driven by alcohol or maybe the fact that they both _finally_ realized that the only thing missing from their relationship had been the act of kissing with their eyes closed and mouths opened. They'd discovered a whole new level of intimacy together just hours ago. And then again this morning.

No matter how up close and personal they'd been during their lovemaking, the real intimacy came with sleepy eyes smiling back at her uncertainly in the half light of dawn, searching for something Kara could only take a wild guess at.

The actual getting up and being together in the same space after their night spent together had been a little awkward, both searching for the right words to have a conversation without addressing the giant elephant in the room. With unsure hand gestures and half sentences Lena had been able to point out the need for a shower and a clean shirt to wear home. Kara making coffee and breakfast after a shy, "You know where everything is, Lena".

Kara feels like an idiot when she remembers the thudding of her heart and the fuzziness in her brain when Lena had hurried her way from bathroom to bedroom wearing Kara's robe and not much else.

Feeling like a little creep (but not really caring), Kara picks up the robe from the back of the couch, brings it to her nose and admittedly swoons a little when she picks up on their mixt scents on the terrycloth. Images of pale, silken skin and plump, smeared lips flash through her mind's eye. Languid strokes of strong fingers down her thighs, hot breaths on her neck and in her ears, teeth and tongue getting to know the delicious sensitivity of her trapezius muscles.

Lena, as it turns out, is a very attentive lover. Lena is very giving in every other aspect of her life. It should come as no surprise that her selflessness shines through even in her most passionate moments. Kara can't help but blush when she thinks of Lena's resolve to bring Kara pleasure first (and second and third), before letting Kara anywhere near her own overheated body. She's no pillow queen, but Kara cannot find fault in such single-minded determinedness. She could get used to something like that. And therein lies the problem.

No matter how pleasurable or how long overdue, last night changed everything between them. Kara had never even considered the possibility of having an even more intimate relationship with her best friend, not taking into consideration the steamy dream or two beyond her control, of course.

The awkwardness of this morning worries her. Lena had left with little to say, hurrying her way through coffee and breakfast, looking away whenever Kara made eye contact. What if Kara's the only one who'll gladly see their friendship progressing into something more? She would love to wake up to Lena's warmth and intoxicating scent every single morning for the rest of her life. But what if this eye opening, earth shattering experience becomes the thing that ruins them? Kara wouldn't trade the closeness for anything in the world, because, truthfully, she's already a tiny little bit addicted to Lena's hands and lips and fiery eyes, but nothing is worth not having Lena in her life. _Nothing!_ If friendship is the only thing that Lena wants, then Kara will try everything in her power to continue to be the best friend Lena could ever hope for. The thought alone brings tears to her eyes.

Looking at the clock, Kara realizes she should woman up and get herself going if she wants to get anything done today. Trying to let go of her friendship slash relationship troubles for now, she makes for the shower, trying not to think about Lena in that same shower. Naked. Eyes closed against the stream of water cascading down pale skin, reddening up the most sensitive parts of her. Yeah… not thinking about Lena in a sexual setting after having explored her exquisite physique last night is really not that easy. Sue her.

When she's showered, dressed and ready to go, her phone beeps just when she grabs it from the coffee table. It's a message. From Lena.

With baited breath and pounding heart, she opens her message app. It takes a second to comprehend what she's reading but when the words start to make sense, her heart actually stops for a couple of beats. Kara never knew it was possible to smile so wide and cry real tears at the same time, but she's doing it. Just to make sure Lena's words mean what she thinks they mean, Kara reads the tiny words in the colorful balloons on her phone's screen until they really sink in.

 _ **I know I left things weird this morning**_  
 _ **I'm sorry. I didn't quite know what to say.**_  
 _ **I was afraid you might get scared, had I told you how much I wanted to stay.**_  
 _ **And maybe it's too soon to ask…**_  
 _ **Can last night last?**_


	2. Bring On the Night

It's twilight  
And the street lights, are comin' on  
I'm in a stream of cars, on this boulevard  
Headed home  
And I can hardly wait  
For you to make what went wrong today seem right  
It's been a long hard day  
So bring on the night

Bring on the night  
And pull down the shades  
Lock the world outside  
And throw the key away

~Alan Jackson~

Lena is a smart woman. MENSA-membership card carrying smart, at that. She knows there are only twenty-four hours in a day. It's a given, no matter who thought it up or who put in writing.

Despite knowing it, despite all the evidence supporting the knowledge, Lena swears today counted at least twice those twenty-four hours and then some. She's never been more ready to head home to her wife and a cuddle session on the couch.

Success is what's making her late getting home almost every day now. She knows it's not really something to complain about because she's finally starting to outgrow the Luthor Legacy™ and is making a name for herself, just like she promised herself she would after her brother's arrest and conviction.

So, no, she's not complaining. But is it too much to ask to have a quiet night in with the love of her life and an overpriced bottle of red? Just one night without ill-mannered aliens on the loose, tearing National City apart. She'd be just as grateful for just a few hours without overseas business partners forcing her into phone conversations that'll make her lose even more sleep.

With thoughts of a cloudlike mattress, a fluffy goose feather comforter and a toasty blonde between the two, Lena resolutely closes her laptop to finally make her way home. Without having to look she knows her phone's lit up with messages telling her to come home soon, pics of sad eyes and pouting lips included, courtesy of the toasty blonde. With her laptop bag slung over her shoulder, purse in one hand, keys in the other, she strides out of the office.

On her drive home, she can't help but wonder how she ever wound up with Kara as her wife and the safe haven they've built together over the years. It's not the first time the thought astounds her and it certainly won't be the last. For so many years she'd been convinced she'd end up dead or in prison, her last name making sure it'd be one or the other.

Thankfully, she's no longer a Luthor. Getting married to Kara took care of that quite permanently, thank you very much. The corporate logo has been redesigned by a team of marketing millennials, big shiny letters spelling out the new company name in bold reds and blues. The big reveal during a press conference had presented every paparazzo present with an image never caught before that moment, namely a crying Lena Danvers. According to Kara, Lena cries like a 1950's movie star and there is just no way to take a bad picture of her beloved wife. Kara's biased. Lena humors her (but secretly scours every paper, magazine and an impressive amount of websites to make sure there's nothing there to come back and bite her in the ass).

Halfway home, Lena's mind gets stuck on Kara. Her beautiful, powerhouse of a wife. Sun in her hair, stars in her eyes, pure gold in her heart. Sometimes, when they're out together and her wife draws a certain amount of attention in a crowd, she can't help but feel smug for landing Kara Danvers. Lena likes to show her off in formal wear whenever they attend galas or charity events, proud to be on the arm of the belle of ball every single time.

Darkness is starting to set in. With only a few miles to go, Lena already starts to feel a lot of tension slipping from her neck and shoulders. She makes a promise to her abused muscles to take a piping hot shower the second she gets home. Well, after "saying hello" to her lovely wife, of course. Air quoted, because actually saying hello takes mere seconds. Kissing each other breathless usually takes a little longer than that.

Traffic is not a total disaster today, Lena notices. She's in a stream of cars headed for the exit that will take her home and she wonders how many people are as aware as she herself is of how incredibly lucky they are to be getting to go home to their families. If the woman passing her in her bright red Honda is just as ready to burst at the seams knowing she'll be in her partner's loving company in just a short while. If the lip syncing teenager in the car behind her fantasizes of his future self, college degree in his pocket and making all of his other dreams come true.

Finally rolling to a stop in the driveway, Lena turns off the engine and leans back in her seat. The lights from inside give the house a pleasant yellow glow, its warmth almost palpable from where she's sitting, making Lena glow from the inside as well. In between these walls, under this roof, she lives with the woman she loves. They share a life here together with friends and family and everything else Lena thought she would never have. On days like today, days that never seem to end and bring with them so many problems and so little in the way of solutions, coming home still feels like a dream sometimes in which Kara is a figment of her imagination and their marriage is a fantasy.

Rolling her eyes at herself, she figures she'd best make her way inside. There's really no reason to stay in the car thinking of her _definition_ of home when she can go inside the house and _find_ the definition of home. She's tired and hungry and she could do with a familiar pair of arms around her right about now.

Finding her wife in the kitchen, Lena drops her bag, purse and keys where she stands, opening her arms wide to receive her long awaited hugs and kisses. Sympathetic as always, Kara's mouth twists into a sorrowful smile, already exactly knowing what kind of day this must has been for Lena.

"Long day?" she questions softly while almost tackling her wife with the strength of her embrace.

Lena doesn't bother with an answer, a firm nod of her head the only confirmation given while trying to close any remaining distance between Kara's body and her own.

"Day's over now," Kara whispers gently, relishing their moment of closeness.

"Why don't you go and take a nice, hot shower. I'll have dinner ready when you're finished. After that, we'll pull down the shades and lock the world outside. No phones, no tablets, no television. We'll turn the lights down low and we'll talk or we won't, whatever suits you best. Okay?"

Another nod, followed by a press of warm lips against Kara's own and a wistful voice telling her,

"Bring on the night…"


	3. Remind Me

Been so long that you'd forget  
The way I used to kiss your neck  
Remind me, remind me  
So on fire, so in love  
Way back when we couldn't get enough  
Remind me

~Brad Paisley & Carrie Underwood~

Between CatCo, the DEO and L-Corp, there seems to be little time left to build a sturdy foundation for their relationship.

Date night is a thing of the past, as is waking up together. Some nights they don't even sleep in the same bed, one not wanting to disturb the other when coming home in the early hours of the morning.

Remembering the early stages of living together, Lena mourns the loss of physical nearness to Kara, her lover always so strong and warm and _present_. It's hard to believe she'd gotten so used to it so quickly, especially since she hadn't known it before Kara introduced her to it.

True, being held in safe and familiar arms feels really, really good.

Falling asleep next to the woman she loves is somewhat of a daydream come true.

Waking up next to the woman she loves, limbs always intricately intertwined, is even better than all of the above.

But, and Lena feels a little ashamed to admit it, no matter how much she loves the sweet side of loving and being loved by Kara, sometimes she just really misses the sex they had when Kara'd just moved in all those months ago.

Not a single flat surface was discriminated against in their effort to christen their shared apartment, making it hard sometimes to keep a straight face while having people over for dinner. At the dinner table. Where things happened that probably shouldn't ever happen on and/or against a dinner table.

So yeah, good memories...

Being a Luthor makes it hard to start off with thinking a glass is half full. It's why Lena worries about losing Kara. The only thing bringing her hope is the fact that Kara and her still share the same address. Then again, maybe her whirlwind of a girlfriend just hasn't found the time yet to have _that_ conversation. And now she's back at the bottom of that glass. But she's not giving up just yet. She's a smart cookie, dammit. She'll think of something to make this work again or die trying. She just has to go back to the beginning and see if she can find out when things started to change between them.

Her search starts on her laptop. There are thousands of pictures in alphabetically ordered folders, painting a very clear portrait of the beginning of them and their happiness. Having playfully scolded Kara for taking so many pictures, Lena can't deny she herself immortalized an image or two of blonde hair splayed out on a black satin pillow case or lips pulled into a playful grin, spaghetti sauce still clinging to the corners of that luscious wide mouth.

Thoughts like that get her in trouble every time. The memories of blonde curls tightly gripped between her fingers, that wide mouth on her own, traveling lower with each kiss. She wants those feelings back. _Needs_ them back. She can't live on memories alone. It might sound ridiculous, but Lena's starting to think she needs to go back to the start and seduce Kara all over again. It sounds like a delicious challenge.

Determined now to reclaim her lover, Lena throws her tablet aside and marches towards the bathroom for a rejuvenating shower and a bit of waxing and peeling. Kara won't know what hit her.

Rosy from the heat of her shower and freshly groomed, the next step is to pick a nice little something from her lingerie drawer. Something that'll remind Kara of how much she loves Lena in black satin and lace and how long it's been since she last witnessed it. Stepping into the skimpy piece of fabric of her underwear, Lena thinks she needs the reminder as well.

Ready for her close-up, Lena crawls onto the bed, thinking of suitable positions without making it lewd. There's a fine line between sexy and tacky, after all. She wants to go all out and start with a little bang, hoping it will end with a big one. Bad pun. Still true.

Moving her body this way and that, she takes quite a few pictures, some showing a little more skin than others. She'll pick her favorite and send it to her unassuming little reporter, hoping to kindle the fire she knows the young woman possesses. Hoping to be consumed by its flames sooner rather than later. All she needs now are the right words to go with that picture and get the ball rolling.

In the time it takes to put on a robe and make a cup of coffee, Lena figures it's best to let the picture do most of the talking. All she adds to the message are the words, "Missing you", then she presses send. Butterflies take flight in her stomach while she stares at her phone, praying Kara has hers on hand.

Shockingly, Lena's phone buzzes almost immediately. Taking a deep breath she opens the received reply, then frowns in confusion and slight disappointment.

 _ **What's going on?**_

Not quite the reaction she was going for, but Lena probably kind of startled her (sometimes still so painfully) innocent girlfriend. She tells herself to just stick to the plan and see if her flirting skills are up to par.

 _ **I know it's been quite some time, darling, but I sure hope there's no need for me to explain my intentions here.**_

Three little dots appear indicating Kara's typing another reply. Lena's starting to worry when it takes a couple of moments.

 _ **No need to spell it out, but I have to admit I'm very surprised by the content of your message. A picture of you is always stunning, but it's unexpected. We haven't gone there in a while.**_

Lena doesn't know how to proceed. Kara's replies are vague enough to make her wonder whether her antics are welcome or not. She needs to get to the point.

 _ **Just because we "haven't gone there" doesn't mean I didn't want to. I miss you. I ache for you. I want you to take a good look at that picture and recall what it feels like to touch me. Do you even remember?**_

 _ **Rao, Lena! Of course I remember! How can you even ask me that? We've both been so busy. I miss you, too!**_

 _ **Sometimes I just need you to convince me. Don't just assume I know what you're feeling. Show me!**_

 _ **I'm coming home. I do not want to have this conversation over text message. I'll be there in a minute.**_

Before Lena even has the time to process that they're going to have "The Talk", Kara's already at the balcony door, crinkle between her eyebrows telling of her mood. She's confused and a little overwhelmed. Lena feels a little sorry for having stirred the pot. Maybe she should've just let it go and watch it play out. Every couple has off-moments, don't they? Darn it. Now she feels guilty.

Standing stock still in the middle of the living room, Lena kind of avoids Kara's gaze. She's still in her bath robe, lingerie underneath, her cheeks heating with the strength of her blush. She's never felt so silly or insecure. She has no idea how to start this conversation. When Kara starts talking, Lena could kiss her for taking the lead.

"So," Kara starts in a gentle voice, "want to tell me what's really going on?"

She wants to close the distance between Lena and herself, but Lena's body speaks a language Kara's quite familiar with and right now it screams at Kara to not come any closer. Lena might flee if she does.

It takes a moment for Lena to gather her thoughts. She asks herself questions she doesn't know the answers to and wonders if Kara can help her with those. There's so much they need to discuss. She wants to know the hows and whys of the rift between them but the words coming out of her mouth reveal her greatest fear.

"Are we headed for a breakup?"

Her voice cracks and her eyes are wet when she finally makes eye contact with her lover. Her very shocked lover according to her wide eyes and her slackened jaw. If it weren't such a sad, serious situation, Lena would've laughed at the almost dumb look on Kara's face. She's so in love with this woman, it's almost pathetic. Who knew feelings could run this deep?

"I … I'm not headed for a breakup!" Kara blurts loudly, disbelief in her tone.

"I hope you're not headed for a breakup, either. Unless you want to. Then I can't stop you. I can't force you to stay with me. But I want you to know that I want you to stay. With me. Here. Always! I never want to break up with you! Nope. No siree Bob. So, move along. No breakups to see here!"

Kara's started pacing, arms gesturing wildly to emphasize her exclamation, nearly taking out a lamp. Lena doesn't know whether to laugh or cry so she takes option three and just pulls Kara into a heated, long overdue kiss which is reciprocated immediately and wholeheartedly.

Lena's crying in earnest now, overwhelmed by Kara's proximity. She hasn't felt this close to her girlfriend in weeks. It may even have been months. She kisses her possessively, wantonly, trying to tell Kara what she needs without having to say the words. Kara knows her well enough to understand.

Pulling away from their intoxicating kisses, Kara's mouth finds a path up her neck, tongue gliding over the delicious little spot just beneath her ear. Strong fingers find the sash of her robe, untying it, revealing full breasts cupped in delicate lace. A pale, flat stomach invites her to trace her fingers over the softness of skin there. Satin panties may hide Lena's arousal from her view, but the scent of it lingers in the heat between their bodies. It makes Kara's mouth water.

Kissing her way up to Lena's ear, Kara whispers soothing words to stop Lena's crying. Kara feels just as emotional but she wants their first time in a long time to be filled with pleasure, not sadness.

"Tell me what you need," Kara asks of her.

"I want to make you happy. I don't ever want you to doubt my love for you. Tell me what to do."

Lena melts. Kara's sincerity, the security she offers Lena, it's all she'll ever need.

"Tell me you love me. _Show_ _me_ you love me. Make me _feel it_."

It's a whispered, stuttered plea. She breaking. Losing her ability to think. Kara's hands are touching her intimately and it feels like the first time all over again. Nails running up and down the sensitive plane of her stomach. Fingers finding straining nipples, tugging, pinching with just the right amount of force. Lips on her neck, her ears, her cheeks, her mouth. She's dizzy from feeling everything at once but she doesn't want to stop. She can't. This is what she's been missing and now it's hers again.

Kara is relentless with her ministrations, making up for lost time as well, it seems. Lena's sure she'll be sporting a couple of bruises tomorrow, but she'll wear them as badges of honor. The thought of wearing Kara's marks excites her so much she almost finds orgasm in thoughts alone.

A lustful moan escapes her lips, prompting Kara into tearing the robe from her body, picking her up and setting her down on the couch. Kara kneels down on the floor between Lena's legs and takes a moment to take in the sight of her disheveled lover, eyes heavy with want and she honestly doesn't know where to start now.

Should she feast on Lena's nipples, the pink tips clearly visible through the flimsy material of her bra.

Maybe another kiss, tongue pushing through those sinful lips, licking and biting them until they're red and raw.

The heat against her abdomen is begging her to pay attention and God, does she want to, but if she starts there it'll be over too soon. Judging from the flush in Lena's cheeks and the widened pupils taking over the green of her eyes, she's already fighting orgasm. Touching her sex would have her coming in seconds.

"Tell me", Kara repeats her earlier request.

"Tell me what you want from me".

Lena gulps. She closes her eyes for a second, the intensity of Kara's gaze almost too much to bare.

"Touch me," she pleads, "everywhere".

It's a tall order, but Kara tries anyway. Anything for Lena.

Diving for one of those taunting nipples and closing her lips around it, her hands find Lena's sides, thumbs resting just underneath her breasts. While dividing her attention between both breasts and their obviously aroused peaks, Kara's hands slide down to Lena's hips, gripping them and pulling her forwards so that the wet heat of Lena's panties is now flush against her belly.

A feeling akin to electricity flashes through her when her pussy hits the rock hard solidness of Kara's abs. Lena starts undulating her hips, the friction against her clit making her sob with near relief. She's so incredibly wet, she can't hold on much longer. She hopes Kara will have mercy on her and keep the teasing to a minimum. It's been too long. She needs that orgasm even if she has to rub one out against Kara.

Lena's barely coherent now. Her eyes are closed, her hips making wide circles to alleviate the want inside of her. She's babbling but Kara only catches every third or fourth word, not quite following what Lena's asking of her, but quite confident that she'll satisfy her in the end.

The stiffening of Lena's spine lets Kara know that she's about to come, but Kara will be damned if Lena gets herself off during their second first time. Within seconds, Kara has repositioned Lena on the couch, Kara now on top of her, and hand already inside those satin panties. With quick and sure movements her fingers circle Lena's clit, dipping down every few rotations to find copious amounts of wetness to make it so, so pleasurable.

It's not fair, really, how fast she makes Lena come. It's how hard she comes that makes up for it. She can't stop pulsing, Kara's thumb coaxing every last aftershock out of her. She's pretty sure she's staining the couch but it's not something that worries her. What does worry her is the bone deep tiredness setting in all of a sudden. She'd love to take care of Kara, but when she tries to sit up she feels sluggish and disoriented. With Kara still on top of her, she feels more than hears her girlfriend's giggle. Bringing a hand up to pinch her in retaliation, Kara catches it midair and brings it to her mouth, lovingly kissing her knuckles before sharing her plans for the rest of the day.

"How about I clean you up a bit and then we get some sleep. We'll talk later."

When she gets a weak nod and a murmured confirmation, Kara lifts her from the couch and carries her off to the bedroom, carefully laying her down on the mattress. She strips while walking into the bathroom, grabbing a washcloth to take care of Lena's spilt arousal. Taking care not to wake her already sleeping lady, she wipes the inside of her thighs and the source of her wetness, a silly kind of pride coming over her for being responsible for so much pleasure.

When done, she returns to the bath to rinse the washcloth and brush her teeth. Grabbing two shirts from a drawer on her way back to the bed, she pulls one on and drops the other one between them, knowing Lena will search for it when she wakes up cold. She grabs the duvet and pulls it over both their boneless bodies, knowing they still have a lot to talk about but also knowing this is not the end for them. With that thought she snuggles up to Lena and gives in to her exhaustion.

When Kara wakes a few hours later, she can already tell Lena is watching her. Even with her back to her bedfellow, she can feel the familiar weight of those eyes on her. Turning around she finds a somewhat bemused face and eyes filled with wonder.

"This is what I meant", Lena whispers, afraid to break the fragile peace of the moment.

"This part of us was missing."

She tries not to become misty eyed but it's no use. She's a crier. Kara knows this. Says it's one of the things she loves most about her. She'll take it.

Kara reaches out to her, hand cupping a warm cheek, her thumb catching a tear in the corner of her eye.

"I missed it, too. I love waking up next to you. I don't know how we let it get so far as to make you think we were breaking up. I'm sorry for making you lose faith in us."

"You're not the only one to blame here," Lena admits.

"I spent just as much time outside of the apartment as you did. I'm just glad we're both still all in."

Kara nods like a little bobble head, confirming that she's absolutely still all in.

"If I ever make you doubt me again, make you doubt _us_ again, promise me one thing," Kara demands.

"Remind me…"


	4. Gettin' You Home

Tuxedo waiters, black tie  
White table clothes and red wine  
We've been planning, this night  
Looking forward to it, for some time  
Now honey I know you love getting dressed up  
And you know I love showing you off  
But watching your baby blue eyes  
Dancing in the candle light glow,  
All I can think about is getting you home

Walking through the front door  
Seeing your black dress hit the floor  
Honey there sure ain't nothing  
Like you loving me all night long  
And all I can think about is getting you home

~Chris Young~

" _This is ridiculous."_

" _I'm a grown woman, for heaven's sakes."_

" _I stare down grown men,_ important _grown men, at least twice a day until they see things my way and yield to my command. How is this happening to me?"_

Lena wonders many a thing while she's being escorted through the restaurant, her wife right beside her while they follow the maître d' to their designated table for the night. It's in a secluded little corner of the tastefully decorated establishment, hiding them away from paparazzi and other prying eyes.

Thanking the handsome thirtysomething for seating them, Lena catches Kara's eyes over the flickering flame of the candle in between them. The brightness gazing back at her still electrifies her when coupled with _that_ look and _those_ emotions so clearly shown.

It takes quite a bit of self-restraint to even open the menu at this point, because everything inside of Lena yells at her to forget about the fancy leather-bound bill of fare, grab the alluring creature seated across from her and drag her home to satiate a hunger that has nothing to do with what this restaurant has to offer.

Kara's already tuned into her wife's headspace. A cheeky smile pulls at lavish lips, accompanied by a knowing eyebrow raising over one of those baby blue eyes. It's wholly unfair how Kara can affect her so easily and thoroughly. To Kara, Lena is an open book and sometimes it annoys her. In moments like these her wife knows the exact angle to play to get Lena to do her bidding. It's not a matter of _if_ but rather _when_ she's going to give in.

When a waiter appears at her elbow with a bottle of red, she jumps a little, too caught up in Kara to notice anything else and narrowing her eyes playfully at her chuckling spouse for having fun at her expense. Making room for the wine to be poured, Lena keeps staring at Kara, eyes trailing a path from a modest cleavage to prominent clavicles and the tempting indentation between them, beckoning Lena to kiss her there.

"What are you thinking about?" Kara asks while reaching for her glass, intonation suggesting she knows _exactly_ what Lena's thinking about.

Eyes alight with a familiar fire, Lena waits until the waiter leaves to answer the question lest she embarrass the young man with some of her most private thoughts.

"I'm thinking of you, in that dress, descending the stairs less than an hour ago and how that image sort of haunts me ever since."

While she speaks, her body subconsciously leans towards the object of her obvious affection. Resting her elbows on the table, she folds her hands together, chin resting on the bridge that they create, and proceeds to subject Kara to an overwhelming bout of bedroom eyes. Judging by the audible gulp from across the table, Lena's accomplished her mission. Kara may be too polite to leave before ordering appetizers, but Lena's certain that dessert is off the table. For now, at least…

Dark blue over rosy red, Kara takes in her devastatingly beautiful wife with burning eyes and flushed cheek bones. She's been looking forward to getting to go out with Lena for the first time in weeks but sitting here, watching her trying not to lose composure is such sweet madness. It's a waiting game now, both knowing how this night is going to end but neither wanting to be the one to throw in the towel just yet.

"Tell me what you thought," Kara demands, "what you're thinking now."

The bumbling, stumbling reporter in Kara Zor-El has always found it hard to receive compliments but coming from Lena – sophisticated, regal, walks and talks like royalty, Lena Luthor – Kara cannot hear often enough how much Lena loves her. Just looking at her wife makes her shift in her seat. With her jet black hair twisted up into an elegant bun and that pretty little bowtie expertly fastened around her neck, Kara cannot help but feel damn proud of being hitched to the vision in front of her. She's starting to wonder if she should fake a migraine so Lena can take her home and take care of her. Yes, _like that_ …

"I'm thinking how much I love you in that dress", Lena drawls.

"I'm thinking how much more I would love you out of it," she continues in a near growl.

"I'm _thinking_ , darling, of ways to get you out of here as soon as possible with as little fuss as possible. I want to strut out of this place with you on my arm, knowing that I will be the envy of every single person here, male or female, then have you all to myself all night long. I can't believe you even got me to leave the house, because the moment you came down those stairs, wearing your tight little dress and that saintly smile, I've been ready to rip the first with my hands and demolish the latter with my mouth. All I can think about, Mrs. Luthor, is getting you home."

As soon as she finishes her little soliloquy, Lena grabs for her wine. Eyes still focused on Kara with laser like precision, she gulps down the burgundy liquid, not caring how uncouth it makes her look. She's about ready to lay out her wife on this very table and have her way with her, onlookers be damned.

Kara seems to have found a spot in that same boat. Speechless and with trembling fingers she seeks out the glass containing her ice water, not knowing whether to drink it or to use it to put out the fire in her cheeks.

When the waiter appears again to take their order, Kara doesn't mean to ignore him but Lena's tractor beam stare, so heavy with intent, keeps drawing her in. It's relentless and delicious and Kara really needs Lena to take her home now.

Lena nods, perfectly understanding the pleading in Kara's eyes, then addresses the patiently waiting garcon with an apologetic expression.

"Just the check, please."

* * *

I wrote this by request. It's been a real challenge to come up with a story based on lyrics I'm not that familiar with. Hadn't heard the song before so I listened to it a couple of times, dug up the lyrics and waited for a bit of inspiration. I hope you've enjoyed it.


	5. What's a Man To Do

Before the tears I've cried  
Have even dried  
She'll be with him  
They'll look in each other's eyes  
And with her lips still warm with lies  
She'll kiss him

~Vince Gill~

When she leaves, she leaves me.

I never know where she goes but she'll be with him.

I never know how long it will be before she returns to me. There will come a day she won't, I'm sure.

Lying to me has become habit to her. It's an insult to think that I'm fooled by paper-thin excuses and beguiling eyes. She thinks I don't hear her on the phone, asking for the when and where. After meeting him, she thinks a long, hot shower rids her of the evidence of her betrayal but the stench of his cologne clings to the sheets we share, driving me from the room altogether. She never asks why when she wakes up alone.

I don't know why she stays. I don't know why I do. He's more to her than just a casual fling. We were never married, but bound together nevertheless, but I think it's safe to say she's committed herself to another. We only share this house now, which is no longer fit to be called our home.

She won't let me kiss her, turns away when I approach. She doesn't smile at me anymore or at all, frankly. Her voice sounds dull, a monotone, only filled with the beginnings of excitement when I catch her calling him.

She's restless. Listless. Slowly losing her mind, it seems. I wonder when she'll break and take me down with her. We barely speak. We never make plans. No one asks or wonders why. Her friends must know the truth. I have no friends other than hers.

When she's not with me, I lie awake dreaming. I think of his hands on her hips, his eyes drinking her in, his chest pressed to hers. My stomach turns when I imagine his mouth stealing gasps and sighs from her lips. Lips that lie to me as thoroughly, as _passionately_ , as she kisses him. She's a master at both.

When she returns to me, she doesn't leave him. She tethers himself to him by way of text message and other technology, some of it designed by the very woman waiting for her in the darkness and the silence of their living room.

When the bleeding stops and the very last breath is pulled from this relationship, I swear I will never let myself be this vulnerable again. It causes too much pain for far too long. This thing will continue to fester, then decay. Ultimately it will leave a scar that will never really heal. Another hard lesson learned.

In the end it's as simple as her not coming back to me. Friends ring our doorbell and carry the remnants of what used to be out of the house one box at a time. A courtesy phone call to make it official and I'm by myself again, imprisoned between walls that remind me of yet another failure.

 _Not good enough._

 _Left behind._

 _Always an afterthought, no one's priority._

I should be used to this but I'm not.

I hurt.

I live a quiet life, when mother and Lex will let me. Every now and then they try to lure me to the dark side. I'm tempted more often than not, but I know why they want me. They need what I know, not who I am. They love the head on my shoulders, the knowledge inside it. The rest of me is not important. They simply don't care. It's a good enough reason to stay away. I'll find my destiny on my own.

Lex is arrested and it creates a massive disturbance. I wish to be left alone but everyone seems to want a piece of me. Reporters are camped out in front of the house, my mother keeps calling every half hour. I want peace. I want quiet. I want to watch the world go by from inside my fortress. Let me be with my books and my tools and my tinkering in the basement.

The verdict means the end of Lex Luthor, in a manner of speaking. Truth be told, he'd welcome death before a life behind bars. Mother is trying everything in her power to get the apple of her eye out of trouble, but none of her bribes seem to pay off. I'm sure she'll think of other ways. A well thought out jailbreak sounds exactly like something she could pull off.

With brother dearest out of sight, mother's attention is solely mine, albeit twenty years too late. We fight and fight some more, but I refuse to see things her way. She seems to have forgotten that I've been taught well by all the people that have found ways to hurt me in the past.

 _I do not trust. I do not bend. I do not break. I do not fail._

With everything going on in my life, it would be easy to forget the most recent betrayal, but my dreams won't let me off the hook that easily. I'm haunted by thoughts of people using me then leaving me. It will always be my deepest fear.

After another standoff with the Luthor matriarch, I'm done with my surroundings. I no longer have a place in Metropolis. I need to move on.

Circumstances bring me to National City. After months of writing business plans, scoping out possible locations and reviewing hundreds of resumes, L-Corp is raised from the ground up. In the early stages of my venture, possible investors are convinced I'm not trying to continue my brother's reign of terror. I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I try to do some good and make myself proud. It's the only purpose I have.

I try to keep my nose clean and my eyes and ears open. I live on borrowed time, never knowing when another attempt on my life will be made. It's disheartening at times but I've realized a long time ago that I'm not afraid to die. I leave no loved ones behind. My death will affect no one but myself. It doesn't mean I don't want to live. I like what I'm doing and who I'm becoming. It would be a shame, but oh so fitting for me, to have someone pluck me from this life when I'm finally blossoming.

In order to keep my priorities straight, I go over my lessons at least twice a day.

 _Do not trust, bend, break, fail._

 _People are interested in what I do, not who I am._

 _There's no such thing as friendship. They'll take what they need and leave you with nothing._

 _Do not fall in love. You'll never come first. You're the afterthought._

It works like a charm.

Until Kara.

Ten minutes is all it takes.

One short meeting against twenty years of lessons and mantra's and brainwashing but Lena already knows she is truly and utterly fucked…

* * *

I don't even know where to start... This song has been haunting me for a while now. And since this series is inspired by Country Music, cheating is pretty much prerequisite. I just couldn't let them cheat on each other. The title is what it is.


End file.
